Social worker yells at supervisor, reports her for checking on her after tense meeting: 'She was crying and slamming her hands on the table'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2025 9:00 PM EST

"Works well under pressure" is one of those phrases that has appeared in so many job listings for so many different jobs that it has all but become meaningless to those with workplace experience. In reality, though, the reason that it is such a common ask is that it is a vitally important quality to have in most lines of work. 

It is no secret that desiring this quality is often used as an excuse for toxic workplaces to push their employees into burnout. However, sometimes it is just a plain fact that a job is going to be stressful at times, no matter how supportive the workplace might try to be. Learning to handle that is imperative, as dealing with somebody who can't take the heat at work can be one of the most difficult issues to tackle when it goes too far. Nobody wants to be the legendary office freakout story. 

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  • a woman sits on a couch and talks animatedly as a man looks at her from across a coffee table
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Even when the going gets tough, it is almost never acceptable for an employee to act angry and aggressive toward their coworkers. Not only is it upsetting, but it usually becomes a professional headache for everybody involved.

    In this story, a manager at a healthcare agency was in a difficult situation with one of her social worker employees, who had had a meltdown after feeling like she had been overworked and mistreated by a fellow colleague. When she went to check on her after the outburst, she, too, faced this dramatic behavior.

    The supervisor realized she had lodged a complaint against her after the incident, which meant she and some of her colleagues had to write a statement on the issue. She wasn't sure how she was going to go forward from this point.

  • Co-worker screamed at me in front of others. Then she sent a formal complaint to HR accusing me of what she did.

    To give background/context; I'm a manager in a healthcare agency and supervise one discipline of staff. The ARNP filled out forms incorrectly/not legally/not valid. I believe it was done in honest error or not knowing the rules.
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  • My social work staff member was given the forms and knew it was not correct/best practice. I was on PTO. She reached out to our quality dept to ask about what to do. The MD that supervises ARNPs was informed. Imo, it's not great but it's also not the end of the world. The forms weren't filed or submitted anywhere. We could educate the APRN, destroy the form, and assist them having the forms completed by their primary care provider.
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  • The ARNP was dishonest/not forthcoming and the situation became more than it needed to be. I told my staff to keep minding their business, let medical handle their dept and next steps. My staff did the right thing. I told her to keep reaching out/speaking if she saw something not compliant/legal. The next 3-4 work days the APRN would call out the social worker in meetings, would call her and tell her to do things that the APRN should have been doing, and generally bossed her around, patronized,
    via booksontapes99
  • On the 5th day I was working in their office. The APRN asked the SWer to set up a meeting for a family and the SWer did. APRN said she had concerns about medications. APRN titled the meeting "provider concerns." She also signed my social worker up for 3 additional tasks that weren't necessary. The APRN said she would be at the meeting but something came up with clinic and she couldn't.
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  • Most people would communicate they are seeing a patient/double booked and can't make it. Most people would provide a written or oral report out. Most people would get another medical staff to cover. Most people would reschedule for a time they could be present.
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  • Instead, she called the admin and screamed about how she has to do everyone's effing job, she's so sick of how stupid and lazy everyone is, we can't do anything without her there to sign off, etc. She was gloating about "having to bite off social work's head" because of how dumb we are. The actual things said had very colorful language but I'm not sure of the rules with language.
    via booksontapes99
  • As a manager and also a social worker/therapist, I went to check on her a little after the meeting. I lightly knocked on her door, she said I could come in. I asked her “hey, what's going on? Are you alright?” She started to cry and talk about being overwhelmed. It was done in a way that was still very blame shifting/patronizing. Around this time the admin walked in. The admin gently talked to her and tried to explain when you request someone set up a meeting (instead of doing it yourself), and
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  • a woman writes on a clipboard while looking towards another woman sat across from her
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • presumed. The APRN was mad af my staff messaged and asked if she was joining. When we tried to explain communication/report out, etc. would be a helpful thing in the future if this situation happened again. We can't take back what's done. Let's focus on ways to make it better and something to try to improve outcomes.
    via booksontapes99
  • She lost it. Went off about how I need to manage/learn to manage, we are all so effing stupid, we are all so lazy and so dumb. She's the only competent person and she's the only one who can get anything done. SW can't even hold a meeting without her. She spoke about nurses. She was yelling, crying, and slamming her hands on the table. I could tell we weren't going to make headway in discussion when I first tried to listen and respond. I stayed quiet the rest of the time. She started saying very
    via booksontapes99
  • productive. I'm going." She said good, go, get the eff out, no one wants you here, etc. I left and didn't talk about it to my staff or anyone else. I drove an hour home. When I got home I found out she wrote an email about me to HR making a formal complaint. She accused me of being a bully, hostile work environment, and a general statement about how I am the worst. She sent this very quickly after I left and was on PTO the rest of the week.
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  • The admin contacted our supervisors, including hers, and HR. She wrote a summary of what happened and how upsetting it was for her. She gave me a heads up she had already submitted that. The next morning I thought HR would call me right away but when I didn't hear anything by 10 am I reached out and asked to check-in about the "events" of the previous day.
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  • I didn't cry or yell when it happened and haven't since. They asked me to write a statement (including traditional info like location, time, date, witnesses, etc. I wrote mine with slightly more detail than above. The admin submitted one. The social workers I supervise submitted one. Their office is on the other side of the APRN's when she was yelling about them. The other MD in the clinic submitted a statement about what she heard/witnessed. I think the APRN had been rude to her that day, too.
    via booksontapes99
  • I didn't hear anything after I submitted and it's been enough time I think everyone has submitted now. I reached out to my boss to ask about next steps. I've never ever been in trouble at work. My boss said the statements submitted along with mine reflect what I reported. I tried to check-in and advocate for my social worker and it went sideways. She told me not to sorry but alas I am.
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  • I do think she made the report essentially accusing me of what she did as a blame shift/deflection. I submitted emails showing her "picking on" the social worker and bossing her around. I submitted an email she sent to me including her boss with a list of things she thinks I should start doing and shes concerned we are the problem. To me, she's clearly targeting social work. It happened the same day as the issue with the form...
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  • So...what happens next? I can be professional/respectful/polite but me and everyone else in the building know what she really thinks about us.
    via booksontapes99
  • a business woman sits at a desk with half her face obscured, holding a pen in one hand and her chin in the other
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People provided their anecdotes and advice.

    Outrageous_Rabbit842 I had a coworker like this. Ultimately I refused to be in the same room alone with him. I refused to discuss anything non work related (if there were 3 of us in a room and the other person was leaving, regardless of what I was doing, I'd also leave. Any work related meetings required him making an appointment with our boss and me taking along my union rep (also his). Really fing annoying.... But he'd threatened me to many times. He left within a few months
    via Outrageous_Rabbit842
  • OP booksontapes 99 That's why I stayed in the room after I stopped talking/knew a discussion wasn't possible. I wanted to be a witness for the admin. The worst part? She's not that smart. She blames everyone else of never wanting to do work and how we all push it onto her... That's the biggest projection/bizzaro world/backwards thing she's ever said. She wants to be treated like a princess. She has a masters in nursing. All of the social workers have masters too...
    via booksontapes99
  • Outrageous_Rabbit842 Those staff need to forward the messages to HR
    via Outrageous_Rabbit842
  • OP booksontapes 99 They are. I got the impression she'd generally a big entitled jerk but that day she lost it on me... I didn't blow up but I don't back down.
    via booksontapes99
  • RazBunBunny Best thing you can do is be cordial and keep the peace to a certain extent. But that's not to say you should let her walk all over you, next time something happens go straight to HR, it's clear that she's unwilling to have a discussion with you so it's better to go to the people who are paid to do so when necessary. As sad as it is she's likely iced herself out of any healthy professional relationships with her coworkers unless she does some serious self reflection and apologizes.
    via RazBunBunny
  • Tazno209 You, and everybody that sent in a report on her, needs to refuse to ever be alone with her again. Everyone must request a witness, or a union rep if applicable, or better yet contact your supervisor and tell them they need to come with you. Everybody needs to stay in solidarity about this, to drive the point home.
    via Tazno209
  • Ok_Recognition_9063 Oh I had co worker like this. The screamer, I called her. My work was absolutely incompetent at dealing with her. Our whole team had formal mediation as it was a mess and she was told to stop behaving like a toddler. She got us all presents to apologise. Then a month later, she started up again and it was all victim mode for the next 8 years. Nightmare. Management did nothing to manage her and she created so much drama. But they were also shit to her in the entire process, so
    via Ok_Recognition_9063
  • False Reindeer_3010 Wow that is one hostile work environment. I hope management make the right decision here as she is so toxic UpdateMe
    via False_Reindeer_3010
  • Good Moaning Moonlight that's just plain messed up. Can't help but think if the roles were reversed, HR would be all over it like white on rice.
    via GoodMoaningMoonlight

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